- Men might not be interested but women will relate. So I was going to a splashy fiesta in 5 star hotel 14 piece Latin orchestras for 8 hours until 4AM. Over the top buffet -all night. Nothing to wear in my backpack. First stop Desigual. I found a cool dress on sale. My size. I put it on in the dressing room and got totally trapped. Like a prisoner in a dress that wouldn’t go up or down.
It had barely made it past the boobs with my arms over my head and there it stopped. I flapped my arms overhead like a crazed hydra. I called out to the sales assistant and we could hardly extricate me cuz we were laughing so hard. She tried several attempts to free me snd she finally folded me over and we decided I needed to hold my breath. I was freed. Not an auspicious beginning.
Ok I found another dress. A simple red crocheted with open work at the skirt. Nice cotton yarn too. I got back to hotel and tried it on. That first crocheted open work was right at the crotch. My yellow panties (de rigeur for New Year luck in Colombia) showed right thru. I had to find a slip.
Sure. Apparently slips have been replaced with SPANX which is a long girdle thing that stuffs your body inside it so it is the casing and you are the sausage. No way. Finally I found some blue shorts which I could wear under the dress and create a red and blue fashion statement.
I believed that adding a blue belt would make the ensemble look like it was always like this. 
Well. It worked
only one glitch. My waist was too small to support the beaded belt so it fell off the first time I hit the dance floor. Next up NYEve in Colombia
